15 Things To Keep You Sane While Your Husband is Away in Boot Camp

Well, I am quickly approaching the one month mark of my husband being away for Navy Boot Camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. Since he’s left, in the past four weeks I have received one four minute phone call, and zero written letters. It’s been a complete blackout.

It appears other divisions with his graduation date are receiving regular letters and calls – and have been from week one! It’s a little hard to not be bitter when I hear, “Got a third phone call today!” Or, “Seven more letters came in the mail today!” I’m not sure what the hold up is with Jonathan’s division – though I’m sure being a performance and push division has something to do with it – but at the moment I’m not feeling like the average wife with a husband in Boot Camp. It’s like the universe is conspiring against me and my sanity. Not hearing from my sailor recruit like other families are hearing from theirs, I KNOW I am having a harder time with the distance and the silence. As a result I’ve found that these following tips have done wonders to keep me healthy, happy and distracted this past month – and will continue to help keep my sanity intact for the remaining five weeks of separation.

Like I said, I’m new to all this. So the following tips are less personal sage advice and more a result of good recommendations from military family and friends, personal observations, plus some plain ol’ common sense.

1. KEEP BUSY

This is the main key here, the North Star if you will, the primary foundation upon which all the other points rest. It’s just a simple fact that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself will not help the time go faster, in fact it will actually make the time go slower. If you’re busy, there will be some days where you’ll be surprised at how fast the time flies! Get yourself a calendar and start writing down things that you can do to keep yourself busy each day, along with a checklist of things you’d like to do to keep busy in the future. The only thing is: Don’t overbook yourself in the name of keeping busy! That’s what I did the first week Jonathan left. My back to back social whirlwind the first week was a little overwhelming and not only did I exhaust and stress myself, but I actually made myself sick. So keep busy, but don’t overdo it.

2. WRITE TO YOUR HUSBAND EVERY DAY

This will not only make the separation easier on both of you, but it’s actually quite therapeutic! Tell him all about your day. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Send song lyrics. Send pictures. Nothing is too trivial. Having been text-aholics prior to Jonathan leaving, we were in the habit of sharing little thoughts and jokes and funny tidbits to one another throughout the day. So I’ve found that it’s easier to open a notepad in my phone and keep a running note of things I’d like to share with Jonathan throughout my day. That way, when I sit down to write the actual letter, I have everything from the important, “The dog ate our couch” to the trivial, “Your cat threw up on the comforter again. You owe me Starbucks.”

3. SPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS

DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU ARE ALONE AND HUBBY IS AWAY. Get out and invest in your friends. No one is or should be an island. You will need a shoulder to cry on from time to time, trust me! Besides, time flies when you are having fun with friends, and you need – now more than ever – the social interaction and emotional support of those who care for you. I, personally, could use another crafting date soon, nothing speeds up time faster than watching your friends scald themselves with hot glue. Oh oh oh! Or High School Musical marathon! Yes! Another High School Musical Marathon!

4. FIND A NEW HOBBY AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Go bowling. Start a walking routine. Learn to write in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. Whatever you do, do something you’ve never done before. Nothing requires more focus, attention, or energy than trying to master a new skill. Not only will you be widening your range of interests, but it will help the time fly! (And give you plenty of new things to talk about with your sweetie when he gets home!)

5. ACTUALLY MAKE THE PROJECTS ON YOUR PINTEREST

Everyone has one and you’re lying if you say you don’t. You know what I’m talking about. It’s “the board” on Pinterest, the one covered in the do it yourself tutorials for random household goods and crafts that you don’t need but desperately want to try your hand at. Well, now’s the time. Go ahead and bake those Oscar the Grouch cookies. Make that melted crayon canvas art. If it looks like a train wreck, you can always blame it on your husband being gone. “Being sad makes my art look like poop!”

6. GIVE YOURSELF A PILE OF BOOKS TO READ

There is something encouraging about giving yourself pile of books that you desperately long to read, and realizing, “There’s no way I could read all of those before he graduates.” I am a bookworm, and my “must read” list is sinfully huge, so it’s simultaneously encouraging and depressing looking at how many notches I can put in my book list before seeing my honey again. Any nerd can tell you, gauging time by book pages is a rewarding experience. Read whatever helps you pass time time. Read fantasy and non-fiction. Read self-help and informational books. Read manga and history books. Devour it all. ALL DA BOOKS!!!

7. WATCH A NEW TV SERIES / VIDEO GAME SERIES / HAVE A MOVIE MARATHON

Now is the time to rewatch your favorite TV / movie / game series. Or better yet, introduce a friend to your favorite series! Know anyone that needs to be hooked (then subsequently emotionally crushed) with some Firefly? (Don’t tell them it was prematurely cancelled and then revel in the sweet tears of their gut-wrenching sorrow.) You could also organize a mini party to watch your favorite movie series… I made my friends watch the High School Musical movies with me. (Not sure how that one devolved into a drinking party.) Or, just make a living room fort and settle in to watch the new series you have been meaning to watch. (FINE Dr. Who bullies, I’ll watch your stupid show now!)

8. KEEP ABREAST OF LOCAL AND NATIONAL NEWS

Here is one point where almost every Navy wife out there has disagreed with me. The primary fear is that “the news is too depressing”. But I am firm believer that ignorance is not bliss, it’s just ignorance. And that “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing”. It’s so important to be an educated voter and to know why you believe the things you believe. Every social injustice on the planet has been carried out under the noses of a complacent public. Do not become one of the mindless and ignorant sheeples that helps cock up the country that your husband is swearing his life to defend and protect. Know whats going on in the world. Get involved. Do your part to defend and uphold the freedoms your husband is fighting for.

9. GET INVOLVED IN LOCAL GROUPS

Search Facebook, your local newspaper, or just ask around your friends to see what’s going on in your community. Get involved in local parenting groups, special interest meet up groups, cosplay and geek convention groups, and generally keep an eye on local events. Aside from friendship and hobby networking, consider getting involved in political groups and social activism. Take the time to volunteer for causes you care for. Homeless shelters, animal rescues, pregnancy resource centers and community clean up events are always happy to have extra helping hands. It’s personally edifying, and you are making a difference in your community to boot!

10. PUT YOURSELF THROUGH A DOMESTIC BOOT CAMP

Life is a journey to better yourself and your family, and that doesn’t halt when hubby is away. What skills and tasks do you find vital to running a happy home? Look at areas that need improvement or ways that you can improve in the daily chores of your household. Focus on time management. Or cleaning tips. Or give yourself a financial overhaul. I find it’s helped me when I set up a routine and checklist of things I’d like to improve or accomplish before Jonathan comes home. That way while he’s off bettering himself to better our family, I know that I’m doing my part to do the same.

11. PAMPER YOURSELF

Do this. At least once a week. Take a candlelight bubble bath. Indulge in some aromatherapy. Try out a new hair cut or color. Give yourself a manicure. Do something special to spoil yourself and destress. You deserve it!

12. CULTURE YOURSELF

Make a point of expanding your horizons. Go to museums. Attend art walks. Try new foods, exotic cuisines and listen to new or unfamiliar music. Whenever I get restless, I just start planning my next vacation and learn about the local cultures and heritage of the region. There is so much to learn, and experience, and see and do in this great wide world, and once you peek at the myriad things you’d like to do on your bucket list, it’s hard to want to stay sitting on the couch feeling sorry for yourself.

13. FOCUS ON YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE

Now is the time to start a new Bible study or commit to a new devotional. Those theological aspects of Bible study that you keep brushing off because they are too labor intensive? Now is the time to pursue them! Do a study on the aspects of the Trinity. Spend a day reading about the use of anthropomorphisms in the Bible. Relearn the history and historical implications of the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Take a course in apologetics. Invest time in prayer and dive into a deeper relationship with your Savior. Get plugged into a church body. Whatever you do, keep Christ centered in your life! His promises never fail, and with Him, you are never alone.

14. NETWORK WITH FELLOW NAVY FAMILIES

There are so many references and websites out there for family members of Navy sailors. A couple of resources that I definitely recommend is the official U.S. Navy Recruit Training Command Facebook page. In addition to posting photos of sailor recruits in boot camp, and airing live graduation ceremonies on Fridays, they will hook you up with your sailors PIR group Facebook page, where you can connect with all the other families that will be at your sailors graduation. From there you can join your sailor recruits individual ship and division group, so you can connect with the moms and wives of sailors who are working alongside your husband. It’s great for morale, camaraderie, networking, and keeps you abreast of any news regarding your honey.

15. START A PERSONAL OR FAMILY BLOG

Post photos, personal thoughts, chronicle your new journey into being a military wife, etc. etc. This blog has been a life saver for me. I started it one month prior to Jonathan shipping out to Great Lakes, and it gives me something to do, gives me something to focus on, and is already a joy to look back on. It’s also connected me to so many other Navy wives and families, fellow geeks and cosplayers and crafters, and tons of photography buffs. If you don’t already have a blog, start one, even if it’s set to private. It’s been one of the best investments of my time since my hubby left.

Hope these tips help you as they’ve helped me! If I’ve forgotten anything that you’ve found essential during separations, let me know!

Harvesting Fresh Lavender for Aromatherapy and Potpourri

Last week Jonathan and I stayed with our friends the Rawsons and the McGahheys in Southern California (while we were in the area for the Iron Man 3 release and the LA Fashion District). They live in the beautiful hills of Temecula and are surrounded by a veritable Eden of fruit trees and herbs of all varieties. On the winding drive up to their house on a hill, I geeked out as we passed through tons of sprawling English Lavender plants becaaaaaause….

I had been tossing around the idea of finding some lavender to make Victorian potpourri satchets with for some time – I actually had it in my “list of things to do while Jonathan is in boot camp so you don’t go crazy and set fire to the neighborhood” – but I didn’t want to go buy some poor baby lavender plant at Home Depot or whatever just to mutilate it. So I asked demanded that I be able to harvest a handful or two.

I have used lavender essential oils many times in the past. Lavender oil is known to have a soothing and calming effect on the nerves – relieving tension, depression and nervous exhaustion in general and is very effective for headaches, migraines and insomnia. So I was pleased to learn that lavender is one of the safest and best herbs to use for aromatherapy to combat the daily stresses and strains of pregnancy!

Lavender became quite popular during the Victorian era, when Queen Victoria used to require that her furniture be polished with a lavender-based solution, and preferred her tea infused with lavender to settle her stomach and ease her headaches. Around this time a popular method of aromatherapy in regards to lavender, was to dry flowers and leaves of the lavender plant and then sew them into a pouch to be tucked under your pillow. Not only will you reap all the benefits of lavender aromatherapy, but it will help to restore restful sleep (and keep your bed smelling pretty!)

So the morning before we left for home, I got up early and trudged down the hill with some strips of silk (from our bag of booty gotten at the LA Fabric District) and started picking me my lavender. After a couple minutes I looked up to see my swoon-tastic stud muffin of a husband walking down the hill with a cup of hot coffee in his hand that he’d brought me. The cool morning air, the hot coffee, the wafting scent of lavender in the rising sun and my handsome husband with his tousled Thor hair really filled up my happy.

Anyway, harvesting lavender is really simple. There’s not much to elaborate on. But here’s some basic tips:

1. Pick the flowers in the morning.

The best time to harvest your lavender is in the morning, preferably after the dew has dried but before the heat of the sun draws out too much of the essential oils.

2. Pluck with a few inches of growth still on the stem.

When you cut each blossom, be sure to leave a few inches of green growth on the plant. While you can use the leaves (they have a good portion of oil in them) be sure to leave some room for growth to replenish the bush with more buds. In general, lavender is like any other flowering plant – when they are deflowered, at the base of the stem a new flower will grow, giving you 3-6 effective harvests in a year.

3. Gather the lavender in bunches.

When you have enough blossoms to fill your hand (about 1 ½ inches across at the base – any more than this runs the risk of your bouquet mildewing), then tie the bundle tightly at the stems. I collected one bundle with leaves intact, and one stripped of leaves so I could have more of the actual blooms. Now that you have your lavender bunch, it’s all ready for drying out! The bouquets I went home with were so simple and woodsy chic that I am confused as to why these little beauties aren’t used in weddings more often.

4. Dry your lavender for about two weeks.

To dry the lavender, hang the bundle upside down in a dry, dark place. The darkness helps the lavender retain its color, and drying it upside down helps lavender retain its blossom shape.  You’ll know your lavender bundle is done when there is no moisture remaining on the stems in the very center of the bundle. Mine are still sitting over my bookshelf, waiting to be turned into Victorian potpourri satchets. I’ll be sure to blog about THAT process soon. 😉

In the language of flowers, lavender means devotion, luck and happiness.

Shopping in the LA Fabric District – Tips and Fun Times

One of my favorite things to do in Los Angeles is stop by the Fashion District (more specifically, the fabric section of the fashion district) and go window shopping for prices that make me spend about 80% of my time cursing the gluttony and inflated prices of retailers like Joanns Fabrics and 20% of my time moaning over the textures and fighting the urge to roll around in animalistic ecstasy in the cloth I don’t really need.

Whenever we visit we usually find rooftop parking on Los Angeles street and then wander over to our favorite small mom and pop shop, Bahareh Fabrics. Over the years, the routine has become almost a tradition. We wander around sizing up fabric while they silently shadow us. The second we even let our eyes linger for more than 0.03 seconds on a certain roll of cloth, the couple darts over, grabs the roll and asks, “How much do you need?” We haggle prices, that usually start at $4 a yard, then whittles down to $2 to $3 a yard. And then when it’s clear we’re at the point of agreeing to the purchase, they find something to comment on, “Oh, you are dating? Ohhh, how nice!” “You are engaged? How nice!!” “You are newlyweds? How niiiice!” “You are pregnant? How nice for you!” We share in the small talk that is half trying to understand the thick accents and half pantomiming the words, and then remind them that we are regulars at their shop. Then, during the cutting, paying, and leaving process we listen to them repeat, “Oh, you are our friends! How nice! Special price for our friends!”

One thing about the fabric district, is that almost everyone with a shop here are pushy dicks. They want to stalk you around the store and bully you into premature purchases, and it gets old, FAST. I’m especially an expressive person, and when I show obvious interest in a fabric, it sends the shop workers into a near feeding frenzy of potential purchase glee. And that just bugs me. So while I can’t speak authoratively on which store in the Fabric District is the absolute best, I can say that Bahareh Fabrics has amazing prices, they are extremely nice, and they will leave you alone to shop if you ask them to.

This trip to the Fabric District we finally made it over to Maple and 9^th Streets to visit Michael Levine’s The Loft. This wholesale warehouse sells remnants (and by remnants I mean, WHOLE FREAKING BOLTS and 4+ yard pieces) for only $2.50 a pound. Since our main goal this fabric run was, “Buy Gingi crap to make baby goodies and keep her busy while Jonathan is in boot camp”, I was mostly looking for laces and sheers. So while we expected to get some great deals, we did NOT expect the armfuls of goodies we’d be leaving with.

The place is literally littered with huge cardboard boxes of fabric of every imaginable color, shape, texture and weave, and you have to get physical digging through these bad boys. We dug until our minds literally got overwhelmed by the experience. And by we, I mean Jonathan, I could not even begin to lift the fabric. Seriously. Fabric is heavier than you’d think.

A shop hand saw me and Jonathan digging for small pieces and recommended we take two bags of “scraps” – basically 5 pound trash bags of fabric 2 yards and under – for free. We only ended up purchasing 4 pounds digging through the scraps, so for $10 we were lugging 14 pounds of fabric home. And we scored BIG. I got some lovely faux silk from Bahareh’s for $2.50 a yard, and then we scored everything from sheers to flannels to cottons to satins to fleece from The Loft. All in all we spent well under $20 and walked away with more fabric than we could comfortably carry. Suck THAT Joanns fabrics.

Anyway, I am far from a pro at maneuvering the urban jungle that is the LA Fabric / Fashion District, but I’ll share my few tips as a central valley girl who makes regular excursions into this wilderness:

1. Bring a checklist, or better yet, fabric swatches and images of your project

You don’t think you will forget what you need, want, whatever, but you will. The colors and sights and sounds of this fabric drenched wonderland will make your brain go full retard. If you need certain amounts of fabric, have the exact measurements handy. If you are working on a cosplay / costume / project, bring photos of the character or piece for ready reference. If you are trying to find a complementary color or texture to a pre-existing fabric you own, bring swatches. This is my BEST advice that I usually never personally follow and then spend the next few months lamenting when I’m stuck in lines at Joanns with something far sub-par and far more expensive.

2. Bring cash, in small bills, and more than you think you’ll need. Ya know, just in case.

Not only do some places not accept credit cards, (like parking lots), but it’s so much easier to haggle down on prices when you whip out a bunch of raggedy ones and clench them in your fists like they are only thing you have on your person whilst staring longingly at a fabric you would get IF ONLY it were $1 cheaper per yard. It’s not unfair, it’s beating them at their own game. Some of these guys can be manipulative assholes, and no matter how low you get them to go on their prices, I guarantee you, they’d go even lower if you were buying double the yardage you originally requested.

3. Go to the bathroom before you stop

The sight of so much fabric that you intend to buy, even if you have no practical use for it, WILL MAKE YOU PEE YOUR PANTS. So empty that bladder beforehand. But in all seriousness.. there are no public bathrooms within blocks.

4. Don’t accept the first price given

The first price given is usually $1 to $3 more than they will actually accept. Of course, when you see scrap fabric on clearance, or 40 yards of tule for $10, or door grabbers at 99 cents a yard, don’t be a jerk and haggle on those. Another thing is, the more yards you buy of a certain fabric, the lower they will go on cost. I think the lowest I’ve ever gotten a fabric for is $1.50 per yard on an English Linen that was originally quoted as $6 a yard once I said I’d buy 10 yards of it. Also, shop around before you commit to a purchase. There’s a lot of fabric here. Don’t underestimate the use of, “Well THAT guy over there said he’d give it to me for…”

5. Don’t believe every sign you read

So you need 100% silk. And there’s bucket and bundles of it for only $8 a yard. That’s awesome. Burn it before you buy it. Don’t take everything at face value. Some of these shops lie. Shocking, I know. If it’s terribly important to you to buy exactly what you need, snag a couple threads when your partner is distracting the clerk by pretending to need a bazillion yards of some gaudy print on the other side of the store and then take it outside and make sure it’s what it claims to be.

6. Have fun and eat bacon wrapped hot dogs

This, really, is the most important tip of them all. ^_^