Phil Coulson Lives (?!) in new Avengers Spin Off TV Show

17 May

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“Waaaaah waa waaaah, he caaaan’t be dead. We didn’t SEE him die! The cards were in his locker, that’s a clue, Fury is lying, he caaaan’t die!”  < —– That’s how Jonathan has sounded ever since The Avengers midnight release. I, for one, was unconvinced that Agent Coulson lived. It’s been the subject of many a heated marital dispute, along with the details of our zombie apocalypse survival plan and whether having sex with each other in an alternate dimension would technically constitute cheating.

Then ABC dropped the bomb on Sunday that Joss Whedon’s upcoming Avengers spin-off TV series that focuses on the Marvel universe’s superspy operation S.H.I.E.L.D. will be starring a very much not dead, “for realsies” alive Agent Phil Coulson.

And there is no living with Jonathan now.

Joss Whedon is like the emotionally abusive boyfriend that you just keep going back to. You think, “Ohhh, but he’s changed this time. He’s different. He won’t hurt me again.” And then you dive back into the relationship, addicted to the thrill of the ride. Things are going great. Joss showers you with love and affection, then – “Here baby, look what I got you. Oh, you like it?” *SMASHES IT* “Baby, why you gotta make me hurt you?!”

See, I knew Whedon was like this. I anticipated the heartbreak. I prepared myself. I’ve been there before. I don’t care how great it was George, but I put my foot down at Jar Jar Binks. Your Indiana Jones aliens don’t faze me. What we had ended long ago. YOU CAN’T HURT ME ANYMORE!

So I wasn’t really surprised that Coulson was (apparently) killed in The Avengers. I wasn’t expecting any miracles for him to return.

But I had forgotten about the three general patterns of emotionally abusive behavior. Aggressing, denying, then minimizing. “What you talkin’ bout baby? I didn’t kill Buffy / Angel / Phil Coulson. Here, have a brand new series. Yeah, you like that, huh baby?”

Just last week I blogged about Clark Gregg at the Iron Man 3 release at The El Capitan Theater in Hollywood, CA making some cryptic comments about Agent Phil Coulson making a comeback. And now it’s come full circle.

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So yes, it’s the comic book universe, and yes, I understand that impossible things can happen. But how do you reconcile the minor issue of, oh, being stabbed through the heart?!?! From what I can glean on the Internet, the answer is being held as bait to reel you into watching the show, as if anyone who has seen any Marvel movie could help themselves from indulging in that crack franchise.

So anyway, the show will air on Tuesdays this fall. So my forays into living with a newborn will be sprinkled with servings of Marvel-y goodness and Whedon shenanigans, which means baby will quickly learn the finer points in the art of television watching early on, like yelling at the TV and artfully expressing yourself to an inanimate object. (“I am a leaf on the wind…” *throws crowbar at the TV*)

Let’s just get one thing straight. I may be going on this date with you Whedon, but it’s not anything serious. This is strictly a friends with benefits deal. So whatcha got for me this time?

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13 Responses to “Phil Coulson Lives (?!) in new Avengers Spin Off TV Show”

  1. Pip Miller (@ThisHobbitsLife) May 16, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

    Totally had to RT this!!!

    • gynjii May 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

      lol, thanks! My posts have been all over the place I’m like, “Is anyone gonna want to read this blog with how random it is?!?!” ^_^

      • Pip Miller (@ThisHobbitsLife) May 16, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

        Damn, your replies aren’t showing up in my WP feed, even though I’m logged in. I may have to comment from there.

        And all over the place is nice…

  2. bookgoddess6 May 16, 2013 at 4:12 pm #

    This is exactly how I feel! It’s going to be fun. And of course, don’t worry about teaching little bit about the finer points of watching tv, she’ll have to learn eventually! Heck, even my mr. chewy awesome pants yells at the tv. it’s awesome, we were watching the mighty ducks the other day, and he got very upset when any of the other teams scored. lol. it was adorable, but i did have to reign in his temper and tell him it was only a movie and it was going to be okay. 🙂 Have a wonderful day love, we’ll have to have coffee and discuss this further.

    the book goddess.

    • gynjii May 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm #

      Hey! I am home now….. we’re all filled up plan-wise this weekend, but we really should plan something this coming week! I miss ya girlie!

  3. Suzi May 16, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

    Just remember what Rosie is always reminding me…”Joss doesn’t give us what we WANT, he gives us what we NEED”. Oh, and that ‘leaf on the wind’ meme HURT!!

  4. Megan May 16, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

    This was something me and my geek friends debated after he died. I for one thought he’d end up coming back. This opinion was largely influenced by the, many, people who started crying in the theater when he died. Actual tears. And sobbing.

    • gynjii May 16, 2013 at 7:53 pm #

      Yeah, like a dozen people in our theater actually shouted, “Damn you Whedoooooon!!!!” lol

      • Megan May 16, 2013 at 8:04 pm #

        OMG. Really? I thought we had a interactive audience when a few people stood up and everyone cheered when hulk smashed Loki. I’ll admit, I was one of them.

      • gynjii May 16, 2013 at 8:27 pm #

        We went to the midnight release at The El Capitan in Hollywood, so the audience was in a wild mood… it was one of the, er, louder groups I’ve ever been in for midnight releases, lol!

      • Megan May 16, 2013 at 8:39 pm #

        I’ve actually never been to a midnight release. Are they a significantly better experience?

      • gynjii May 16, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

        I think so… high energy, diehard fans, and people in costume… it’s a blast. 😉

      • Megan May 16, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

        Sounds like a lot of fun. Especially the costumes. I’m a big fan.

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